


Between

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Episode Related, M/M, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-13
Updated: 2005-03-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 13:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12082068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian realizes there is something standing between Justin and himself. Inspired by the song "Between" by Vienna Teng.





	Between

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

The first time Justin came home smelling like another man, Brian didn't think anything of it. They both always smelled like other men. There were the rules, of course, but there wasn't a rule in existence that could commit Brian to monogamy. Even so, he'd bent himself backwards for Justin, to keep Justin happy, because even though he'd never admit it with words, Brian cared very deeply for him. He couldn't explain why or how, but the little twat had worked his way into Brian's heart.

The second time Justin came home smelling like another man, Brian noticed something: the smell was consistent. It wasn't just the aroma of a new cologne, and Brian was pretty sure that there weren't any art supplies in existence that could smell like _that_. It wasn't upsetting -- distracting, maybe, but Brian could deal with that. Distraction was always a part of Brian's games. He thought briefly about Justin's rules, about never having the same guy twice and never kissing on the lips. He knew they were there for Justin, to make him feel safer and more secure, and Brian would never need nor desire to break them. If Justin was the one who needed to break them, though, so be it.

Life proceeded as normally as ever. They would fuck at night and then fall asleep, exhausted, curled into one another. In the mornings, they would wake up with just enough time to make love once in the shower and still actually bathe. A breakfast of coffee, and sometimes cereal for Justin, and they would both be on their way. Brian didn't even notice when Justin started coming home later and later. He hadn't realized that his workload would increase so much when he made partner, and he spent every evening with his eyes glued to the monitor of the computer. Carry the one, add the five, and figure out how much to spend on the campaign and still make a decently sized profit. He was surprised when the loft door would slide open and Justin would walk in, bleary-eyed and worn out from this project or that. Sometimes they would go out, but more and more often they would just work until they couldn’t anymore, and then the cycle would renew: fuck, sleep, fuck, work. Day in, day out.

It wasn't until Justin started showering every time he came home, even if they'd showered together that same morning, that Brian became curious. Concern was not the word he'd use for it; intrigued, possibly. At first, he'd try to lure Justin away from the shower with kisses and sucking and hands down the front of his pants. It worked sometimes, but more often than not Justin would plead with him, and not in a good way.

"Brian, come on. I smell like shit," Justin would say. With a shrug of his shoulder he'd slip his arm out of the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing, sliding it up over his head. He'd take a couple of steps backward, brush his long bangs out of his eyes, and give Brian an awkward smile. Then he'd be gone, leaving Brian standing in the middle of the loft with a crumpled shirt in his hand. And the shirt didn't even smell like Justin.

Brian joined him, a couple of times. He'd step into the bathroom and watch Justin as he scrubbed his body furiously. Brian knew by now that some paints were harder than others to get off of your skin, but he'd never seen Justin work so hard to remove something that wasn't even there. He'd pull open the glass door to the shower, and Justin would jump a little and turn his head. Brian would walk right into the water, scalding hot with the massaging shower head on the hardest setting. They fucked then, with their skin turning dark red with the heat and the pressure, the lust and the fear. Brian came harder than he could ever remember coming, with Justin's ass clenched so tightly around him he thought he would die.

Afterwards, in bed, Justin always faced away from Brian. He'd stare at the wall and blink slowly, his breathing quick and silent. Brian felt like there was an ocean between them, lifetimes spanning and separating them from one another. He reached his arms out and wrapped them around Justin, drawing him in closer, and Justin would rest his head on Brian's forearm and fall asleep. He never curled up into Brian like he used to, and Brian was no fool. He knew what the ocean between them was, even if he didn't have the words for it. He didn't know the name of the distance, but he knew the smell of the cologne and the dryness of Justin's skin after he scrubbed it raw. He knew the silence that overtook them both and left Justin unable to look Brian in the eye. He knew the taste of panic on Justin's lips.

Then he knew, he understood everything. Brian thought that he should've known before, that it was so obvious in so many ways that Justin was slipping away. Just like he'd slipped out of the sleeve of his shirt, just like Brian was terrified every night at the hospital that he would flicker and fade away. But he knew, too, that Justin was young and needed every experience that came his way. He believed more than anything that Justin needed that space, that he needed to be free the way Brian needed his own freedom. And he wasn't going to deny Justin of that.


End file.
